Isn't it strange how, as we get older and if we are still fortunate to have a parent who is alive, the role of child and mother seems to switch. My Mother is 90 years old and until a year or two ago, was quite bright and clear-minded, although her eyesight was failing at a rapid pace. Now, in a matter of two years, she is frail and very confused and her body seems to be failing her, in that she has lost weight and her spine seems to have just got too tired to hold up her head. She has to drink her fluids out of a "baby spout cup" and has to be assisted with meals.
hen I visit her, I seem to take on the role of "mother" and she assumes the role of "the child". She has developed a sweet tooth and if I don't take her sweeties, she gets upset, much like a child would. I also find myself having to reprimand her about her behaviour, which apparently sometimes disturbs the other residents.
When I sit with her, she often falls asleep while I am talking to her, so I just sit and hold her hand or rub my hand gently up and down her arm, just so that she knows I am still there. I feel like I want to take her in my arms and gently rock her and tell her that all is okay. as you would a child, who is maybe sad or not feeling well. I want to stay there with her, so that she never feels alone, but iunfortunately t is not possible as I have a family to go home to and look after.
Unfortunately I am the only daughter and child living in the same town as my Mother. My sibling are scattered far and wide, with my one brother living in America. It is not easy having to be the only form of family contact that my Mom has with her children. The responsibility for everything regarding my Mom and her wellbeing falls on my shoulders. Although I don't for one second begrudge my time with my Mom, I just feel that it would be easier if my Mom had more of a back-up system in respect of her children visiting.
Once, when I went away for a few days, my Mom suffered a stroke and I felt awful that I wasn't here to be with her. I had arranged for my nephew and his wife to visit her while I was away, which they did and I am grateful for, but the fact remains that I wasn't here for my Mom. My eldest brother then travelled down to see our Mother. My brother was not happy with the treatment my Mother had been receiving and created a huge fuss, which caused some bad feelings with the staff at the retirement home. It is so easy for someone who is not here on a regular basis, to point fingers. I cannot comment on the medical treatment my Mother receives, as I am not qualified to do so, but I have to believe that the nursing staff at the retirement home always do what is in my Mother's best interest, although she can sometimes be quite headstrong and tell them off if she doesn't want to do something.
My Mother is a rather stubborn person, however, for her 90 years on this earth, maybe she has earned the right not to let people walk over her. She has not had an easy life and maybe she is just so tired of people trying to tell her what to do and what not to do, after all she is much older than most of them.
hen I visit her, I seem to take on the role of "mother" and she assumes the role of "the child". She has developed a sweet tooth and if I don't take her sweeties, she gets upset, much like a child would. I also find myself having to reprimand her about her behaviour, which apparently sometimes disturbs the other residents.
When I sit with her, she often falls asleep while I am talking to her, so I just sit and hold her hand or rub my hand gently up and down her arm, just so that she knows I am still there. I feel like I want to take her in my arms and gently rock her and tell her that all is okay. as you would a child, who is maybe sad or not feeling well. I want to stay there with her, so that she never feels alone, but iunfortunately t is not possible as I have a family to go home to and look after.
Unfortunately I am the only daughter and child living in the same town as my Mother. My sibling are scattered far and wide, with my one brother living in America. It is not easy having to be the only form of family contact that my Mom has with her children. The responsibility for everything regarding my Mom and her wellbeing falls on my shoulders. Although I don't for one second begrudge my time with my Mom, I just feel that it would be easier if my Mom had more of a back-up system in respect of her children visiting.
Once, when I went away for a few days, my Mom suffered a stroke and I felt awful that I wasn't here to be with her. I had arranged for my nephew and his wife to visit her while I was away, which they did and I am grateful for, but the fact remains that I wasn't here for my Mom. My eldest brother then travelled down to see our Mother. My brother was not happy with the treatment my Mother had been receiving and created a huge fuss, which caused some bad feelings with the staff at the retirement home. It is so easy for someone who is not here on a regular basis, to point fingers. I cannot comment on the medical treatment my Mother receives, as I am not qualified to do so, but I have to believe that the nursing staff at the retirement home always do what is in my Mother's best interest, although she can sometimes be quite headstrong and tell them off if she doesn't want to do something.
My Mother is a rather stubborn person, however, for her 90 years on this earth, maybe she has earned the right not to let people walk over her. She has not had an easy life and maybe she is just so tired of people trying to tell her what to do and what not to do, after all she is much older than most of them.
My only wish for my Mother is that she will always know that I love her and that God will gently take her hand when she is ready to go, with no pain or suffering.
